Silent Apologies
by Tweedle Fake Boobs
Summary: Caterina envied Cat, she was jealous of the care-free girl who was always giggling.  More than anything, she wanted to be Cat, but every day it was getting harder and harder.  M for mentions of rape, abuse and character death.


Everybody knew Cat Valentine.  
>They knew the pretty face, the angelic voice, the bubbly personality, the curious mind below the head of bright red hair.<br>Cat Valentine was just the tiny girl with a lot of quirks and plenty of talent.

Nobody knew Caterina Valentine.  
>The silent girl who <em>felt<em> tiny, with a fear of going home.  
>Caterina envied Cat, she was jealous of the care-free girl who was always giggling.<br>More than anything, she wanted to be Cat, but every day it was getting harder and harder.

* * *

><p>Tori Vega sat on the end of her bed late Wednesday with her eyes closed as her best friend ran a brush loaded with dark eye shadow. Tori had again agreed to let Cat practice make-up for her class at Hollywood Arts on her, but this time she made sure that what she was using couldn't do any damage. She learnt her lesson after she had been stuck with the face of a zombie due to Cat using a very strong glue.<p>

She felt Cat wipe a strong thumb over her tanned cheek-bone, probably to collect the make-up that had gone out of place.

"And… I'm… done!" Cat said moving away from the bed as Tori opened her eyes and headed straight for the mirror.

Tori looked at herself shocked, Cat definitely had talent. The small red head soon appeared behind her in the reflection, clapping as a few squeals left her mouth.

"I look terrifying!" Tori said grinning.

Cat giggled, "You look like Jade!" She then turned around, pushing up her sleeves before grabbing her small, silver digital camera from the bed-side table.

Tori posed with two hands on her hips, she used Jade as inspiration for her mean facial expression. After a moment Tori's eyes and arms dropped as she noticed Cat's arms just as the flash went off for a second time.

"Cat," Tori stopped her, pointing at the bruise on her arm, "What's that?"

The smaller girl threw the camera onto the bed before pulling down both of her white sleeves just as Tori saw what she thought were cuts, "Oh," Her voice wasn't as light as it normally was and her eyes were filled with worry for a moment before a smile re-appeared on her face, "I burnt myself on the straightener before school." Then a giggle escaped her lips, "Oops!"

* * *

><p>Cat got home late that night to see her father sitting in an arm chair facing the television which was playing old comedy show loudly. He didn't even look at her before saying, "I'll be up in a moment, Caterina." Then swallowing a mouthful of the alcohol he had in hand.<p>

She turned around, biting her lip and fighting the tears. It had been like this ever since her mother had passed away. Cat's father had used alcohol to handle the grief, but caused his only daughter a lot more pain.

At different times, every few nights he would sneak into her room and abuse her for hours on end.

He would always warn her, so she would sit curled up in fear until he arrived. She wouldn't dare try sneaking out, or not coming home for days because she knew that the punishment would be unimaginable.

For Cat, nightmares were an escape and school was a dream come true.

She ran up the stairs, looking at her own bedroom door before turning to her older brothers, covered in stickers of trains, cars and animals. She tip-toed over to it, opening the door slightly and smiling to see him fast asleep and snoring quietly, hugging a stuffed bear to his chest slightly.

Cat moved closer to his bed, sitting on the edge and running a hand over his hair and kissing his forehead.

She had told people many stories of him eating various objects but she had never told anyone that the reason he had never really been seen out or the reason he did peculiar things was because he had Down syndrome.

Their oldest brother had left for Japan immediately after their mother's passing and had left Cat to care for him alone, knowing her father was in no condition to.

Numerous times he had taken a beating from their dad whilst trying to defend his little sister, so now Cat always made sure he thought everything was perfect so he wouldn't get involved.

She looked at the door, as tears began to escape her swollen eyes. Giving her brother one last look and whispering, "I'm so sorry," she fled from the room hoping she had enough time.

Making her way through her bedroom and into the attached bathroom, closing the door behind her and switching on the light before throwing open the top drawer and taking out the razor.

* * *

><p>Tori arrived to school early on Thursday, heading straight for the lockers where she had agreed to meet Andre who was going to help Beck and Tori rehearse their number for music class.<p>

As she walked she slid open her phone to text Beck to see if he was there yet, but a few sobs answered her question.

Andre's back was facing Tori as his head rested on the keyboard attached to his locker, not moving at all except for the rise and fall of his deep breaths.

But the sound was coming from a girl, she turned to look down the same hall to see Beck holding a crying Jade to his chest tightly. Shock and sadness filled his dark eyes, which glanced up at her with a worried expression.

She replied by knotting her brows and shrugging, Beck tried mouthing something numerous times but when the look on her face stayed confused he finally coughed slightly, "It's Cat." His voice quivered and tears began to cloud his eyes.

Jade screamed as the name left his mouth, almost collapsing as Beck struggled to keep her up.

Andre looked up from the locker as everything fell into place and Tori's stomach flipped, she looked down as Jade and Beck finally fell to the ground, their faces in each other's necks, gripping onto the other's shirt for dear life.

Tori sprinted around them and into the bathroom, moments later Andre was following her just as quickly.

The two older students who were applying make-up in the girl's bathroom watched Tori kick open a stall then left quickly when Andre followed her inside.

"Tori," he whispered, as he watched her lean over the toilet bowl.

She was gagging, just waiting for the feeling to leave her body, but nothing was coming. After a moment, she gave up and fell back onto the tiles, hugging her knees, tears marked on her face by running make-up.

"Was it-"she choked, barely finding the courage to ask what she needed to, "Was it her- her wrists?"

Andre bit his bottom lip, tears began to appear in his eyes, his voice came out higher than usual, "We don't know anything, Tor," he noted the look on her face, she knew he was lying, "They found her in her bathroom."

Tori's head fell back, letting it hit the wall behind her, "I saw them, Andre," She whispered to the ceiling, then looking back to his shining eyes, "I let her leave," she shook her head, not even caring that the tears were now leaking off her face as they fell heavily, "I knew something was up."

Andre sat beside her, a heavy arm fell around her shoulders, he could only whisper his reply, "It's been like this for a year, Tor," he shook his head as realization hit the both of them, "It's on me, too," Tori moaned aloud as he said it, probably to sustain a scream, "And Jade, and Beck, and everyone else."

She sobbed once more before she closed her eyes and let the sadness actually spread through her.

Feeling too weak to make any movement, she leant into Andre and silently apologized to Cat.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry if it's kind of terrible and not as emotional as I wanted it to be. I really wanted to get it out of my system, so I wrote it in a rush while watching Jersey Shore. Honestly, I dove into it without knowing how to end it, but I did my best. Xo.<strong>


End file.
